In this way, full of hopes and dreams, a girl creates an image of women’s happiness and lives in pursuit of it. Until her pleasant dreams of a family and a loving life come true, she lives in fear and worry about her future.
But as I have experienced in my practice, a woman does not always feel happy even after she has reached her dreams in such an ideal picture. One day, faced with an insurmountable difficulty in relationships, she wonders where her happiness lies, because she did everything ‘right’: she married well, gave birth to perfect children, and made a home sweet home.
WHAT DO WOMEN SUFFER FROM?
1. Nonacceptance of their unique feelings and nature. One of the most critical things that we are not taught from childhood is the way to understand our own nature. We, women, are directly sensitive and dependent on hormonal changes in our body. Our emotions also depend on it outright. But many women think that something is wrong with them and attribute their frequent mood swings to this. In most cases, such a notion is reinforced by men’s misunderstanding and accusations of women.
2. A thorny way of achieving a commonly accepted image of a successful woman. This is the image of a super housewife, a super mother, a super wife, a super model, a super woman who has secured her fair place in society and earns her own money. Women look at this image from outside, and in fact, they do not take into account what this ‘success’ costs, what should be sacrificed to accomplish that. Comparing herself to such a super woman image, a regular woman naturally feels inferior.
3. Misinterpretation of the laws of relationships. A woman paints an image of an ideal relationship, where there are no conflicts and disagreements, and when she encounters them, she suffers from the belief that either something is wrong with her, and therefore she does not have a happy relationship, or her partner is unfair to her and that there is something he doesn’t give her enough. Few people know that relationships undergo their own stages of development, from fusion to separation and from separation to adult love.
4. Childish perception of the world whereby a woman expects that the world will play by her rules: she entertains dreams, fantasizes about a prince who comes over and saves her from all the difficulties of life, makes her dreams come true. And when this does not happen, the woman becomes disappointed in herself, gets pinched and begins to suffer from the complexes that she creates for herself. She stops living here and now, enjoying what she has, and instead lives with deferred expectations and dissatisfaction.
5. Working hard to please everyone: her husband, relatives, children, ultimately leaving to a state of mind when the woman loses herself. She ceases to perceive of her abilities, her needs, eventually turning from a personality into a function. In a relationship, such a woman, trying to please her beloved one, forsakes her individuality, zest, and over time loses her partner’s interest. This is a very common story in my practice, when in therapy we work on returning a woman to her authenticity, to self-acceptance and sensitivity to her abilities.
SIMPLE STEPS TO HAPPINESS:
Women! Learn to notice not only your flaws, but also your strengths, that will boost your self-worth.
A relationship, children and fabulous home are wonderful, but do not forget about yourself, don’t expect someone to guess what your needs are, instead take care of them by yourself. Remember, when a woman feels well, then everyone around her is well, with a healthy atmosphere reigning in the house.
And if you live in harmony with yourself, then it will be much easier for you to maintain a harmonious relationship with your partner.
My vision is that happiness for a woman is not an end in itself or a permanent state. Happiness is a process that you need to learn to create and cultivate within yourself
